day plus Academic Decathlon

Today was fun nothing special. . .my hand was doing that weird shaking thing again this morning but it wasn't as bad, I could right without it shaking so it was just weird, eh what can ya do. band we were almost all there were back to 3 again, and I won't be there the next two days, and its already been a week since the whole section was together. Daniel won't be there Friday so at best there will be two but if Kristin stays as sick as she is John will be on his own which is kind of funny. Drawing lines in math hehe fun, were all so talented. . .
English. . .ahh we got through everything kind of fast, so Mrs. Simons left the room and the class had earlier heard Charlie's speech when I was absent so they all decided to make me give my speech it almost got to the point of chanting, so I figured I would I needed the practice. As I started to walk up though some said to wait till Mrs. Simons got back since she would enjoy it, a bunch of the class just wanted me to stand up there and wait for her, but I wasn't that willing so I waited and when she got back someone was like: "Scott wants to say his speech" Simons: "Scott do you" me: yea, . . I guess. So I went up and as I was Ben was like do a really big Clap Smash I guess he heard me say it before but I don't clap so any how I walked up waited for the class to quiet down and started with my famous Smash!!!!!! A meteor slams into the earth. I shook a little got nervous but overall did a pretty good job. when I finished I got this awesome applause and so many complements I actually started believing I did a good job not that, that will help my speech to much, but the impromptu and interview could really use the confidence. Even Mrs. Simons who helped me early on with the speech said that was the best she ever heard it and if I gave it like that it would be great. Then there was the "Charlie you need to give your speech again" "Charlie he gave a speech and sung, come on" so you know oddly enough out of the billion people that have heard my speech the people that haven't heard it are the 2 people I"ve been able to call gf's ehh hopefully they'll both here it sooner or later. Plus how many other times will you get to hear me sing.

OK so now I should be studying, and I'm mostly done packing but I wanted one last post before I leave till Sunday. OOOOO and Diedre gave me a new question to ask, I'm not sure when I'll get a chance next, but o well at least now I have somthing to say. . . O and that reminds me
Another person has decided to take the task to try and get me to talk YYYYAAAyyy!!!!!!!! hopefully she's more successful than the last, although usually they try that and getting me to dance, they usually entirely fail at getting me to talk :-( they give up to easy lol I"m too quiet. Any ways the list looks somthing like
Peri
Peri
Peri convinced me to start attempting to dance
Melissa had me somewhat loosen up temporarily
Peri loosen up somewhat slightly longer
Mali cool tango move
and in there are a bunch of other people who tried and failed but those were just the most persistant, hehe and Peri before graduating was the greatest. Ok thats how shy I am, but I'm working on getting over it and its slowly dissipating so who knows maybe Diedre might get me to talk.
OK well have fun and I probably won't get back on till Sunday. . .Monday I'll tell you how I do at the state competition.

sameach

Hehe my title has hebrew in it and you'll have to dig deep through my posts to find its meaning, hint is I'm it right now.
Ok today was great and somewhat weird lets see phrases I heard repeated: Don't worry its vot airborne, and umm . . what was the other one was in English but I cna't remember. Anyhow biology had an interesting start the Isaac runs in, hurdling over desks and people yelling I"m not distracting, I'm not distracting. Umm. . .my government test was a pretty decent score it started at an 80 but the 5 points for showing up today and the 5 for the review bring it up to a 90. Umm. . .
Lets see my section is down to two people, :-( and we had a sectional today I thought it would have been hilarious if we would have kicked everyone out of the band hall for the two of us it was more of an hour lesson with 2 people then a sectional. Through out band and the sectional though I was continually laughing it actually got to the point where it started hindering my playing in the sectional.
The classes I was actually focused in would be Calculus, AD, and English, but Calculus was the only one that actually required concentration, AD was just o by the was heres your schedule yada yada, and English was recalling info for a quiz which isn't that hard to do, since it was pretty easy stuff.
OK now for the reason I couldn't concentrate. . .he well for Gov't, and AP Bio I was thinking of Diedre and how lunch would go, why in Calculus I could practice when she was there not really sure, but hey, and then the other classes was because of lunch. For those of you who are still out of the loop
I asked her out and she said . . . YES and was really excited and it was the coolest feeling ever, and Char said she'ld never let go of me, so I'm on my happy high now. yay, ok well . . .
now I'm just a bit confused I went from no g/f nothing that I noticed of anyone even taking a slight interest in me too, getting two gf in one year, whoa, and someone asking me to prom the end of the year before you would think I traded me in for some one new o well its. . . fun?? all the same.
O and http://www.pressanykey.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/pak/dituipsi.cgi is an awesome site it had a bunch of quizzes and stuff but I got this cool quote not sure if it was random or because of how my quiz scored, but here it is, it kind of fits me. not really anything special though
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow; don't walk behind me, I may not lead; just walk beside me and be my friend."
OK well thought of the day was the image of me asking her
Smile of the Day was definately her saying yes
and ok not sure I need any special ending but umm heres some hebrew onnee sameach

Today

Today was kind of weird I kind of feel dumb, stupid, forgetful, one of those things. I once again forgot all those things that happenned during the day when I was asked. Anyhow today started kind of weird, I'm not sure why but I was really jumpy dismorning I couldn't sit still, and so I kept getting up and walking the halls and then talking to people in the bandhall getting restless, and walking the halls and felt so weird not sure what I was looking for, then I went to take my last AD test and was shaking, I was shaking it was so weird. Then class started and I was back to normal. Lunch was fun with sexy shoulder skin, and now my heads all full of Diedre look what a menace she is, hehe. Anyhow fun there fun after school, and then. . .
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Now its today, Tuesday my dad kicked me off before I could finish yesterday, so Diedre won't have time to read this before I say it haha I just hope I don't chicken out wouldn't that be weird ok. So any how she said today . . .errggh can't remember very well but somthing along the lines of I do things for the (weakest??) reasons, definately not that word but somthing about not good reasons. So I immediately thought and I don't do things for the weakest reasons so rather than give her a better reason for the thing she wants me to at lunch, I'll just flat out ask her out. hehe
I'm over Kristin atleast temporarily and with Jessi out of the way hehe, what a loss for him, I"m gonna go for it oh somewhere in here I meant to say somthing that now kills all the ambiguouness of it but it went somthing like. . .
Alright I think I'm finally going to try somthing else so I can fail again. Yay!!, and who knows I might even screw up and succeed.
bu guh dug anyhow have fun and I'm really curious as to what people are thinking as they read this so if you could post that or heres somthing I keep forgetting to ask people everytime they ask me if theres any questions I'ld like to ask and there is
What/how do you think of me, anyone and everyone can and should answer it whether you know me or not
ok well have, fun haha I don't have to take the TAKS today alright back to doing homework

Guard

This is another one of those posts that isn't what it was originally going to be, nor is it the time it was supposed to be this is yesterday's post, the bottom of the post is the only important part if your short on time skip to it.

Yesterday was almost a really good day, somthing still probably could have gone better at almost every corner but I'm no super optimist so the fact that things weren't crashing and burning and things went decently well in the morning made a great start for a day. I got a one on my solo, Daniel showed up loaded on meds to give us a chance to play I was really worried there, we thought we would play half an hour late but 5 min till we learned we were on time (switched rooms) so good for getting home, bad because we hadn't taken our horns out yet.
Went home had some fun conversations after my computer took an hour to boot up. O and felt kind of bad Kristin spent all that time practicing and was to sick to play her solo off at the contest, I think. I had some fun conversations after my computer took an hour to turn on stupid computer it hates me. I had to promise it if it turned on in the next 3 tries I would study and wait for people to talk to me. Then . . . .



Then. . . I heard somthing that made the rest of my happy thoughts all go away I was really happy for 10 min according to the timestamps, I heard that the guard bus got in a wreck, I was stunned I asked if anyone was hurt and got a mostly good answer. Betsy, and Laina 2 seniors I know went to the hospital to for precautionary reasons I think. Immediately after wards a bunch said there neck hurts and for anyone who's been in a minor wreck (my moms given us a bunch of those awhile back) even with your seatbelt and being minor it hurts your neck, so I hope that was nothing. Go herre for better details http://fwoodmusicgoddess.blogspot.com/. I was so blown away they were supposed to get back at 3 in the morning. I hope they're all alright.
Ok so the thought of the day is obvious I feel to miserable to put a smile of the day but there were tons before the accident. Please be ok everyone, If theres anything I can do I'ld do it but other than praying I don't think theres much and even that seems to be pretty limited in effect.
So hope everone's alright,

Normal

Hey its me the weird guy who's not normal. . . (I hope)
Anyhow today was decent I don't dare say it was good for a few reasons, one every time I post that before the day is over somthing changes it, but today also didn't have any thing that was truly spectacular some things that could have gone wrong that didn't a pretty day. None of the trombones were there but it was alright.
Any how I'm back to being normal me, for the most part, I think
My lacking confidence and telling myself why I enjoyed lacking confidence, and most the rest of me.
Diedre won't get on but o well
So much studying to do, good luck for all the Friendswoodians at the solo and ensemble contest tomorrow.
Oh and if everyone who's still reading this would post and tell me so I can kind of keep track of who's still here and plus it makes easier to look at those blogs I read.
Ok so here goes what I tell myself, I think I even believe it:
I love that flaw of my self thats known as a lack of self confidence.
It may make it nearly impossible to be happy by what you do for yourself, but. . .
you are quite stoked when someone does somthing for you, even somthing as simple as a hug, a smile, or even just saying hi, but. . .
whats even greater than that is the great smile that can be seen on your face when seeing someone doing somthing they enjoy, such as having fun playing with backgrounds.
Hehe I bet you, Malorie will never know that having fun with backgrounds could be so groundshaking
Thought of the day: actually there was no prevailing thought nothing that really repeated itself. . . but I was humming my solo, and then later started humming somthing patriotic and then back to my solo
Smile of the day: Watching someone have fun playing with backgrounds

back in a rush

Sorry I missed the last 2 days just been rushed, I actually updated my other blog I don't reccomend anyone read, but if I didn't want it read I wouldn't have written it. I didn't have anytime what so ever. I hate this so much I wanted to say and now that I"m here with limited time I can't remember. Any ways 2 days ago I saw this neat/sweet buddy icon that I learned was song lyrics so I went and found the song the title was
"Going Away to College" so how could I not like it, its by Blink 182
Why does it feel the same
To fall in love or break it off?
And if a young love is just a game
Then I must have missed the kick-off
Don't depend on me
To ever follow through on anything but
I'd go through Hell for you and

I haven't been this scared, in a long time
And I'm so unprepared
So here's your Valentine
Bouquet of clumsy words
A simple melody
This world's an ugly place
But you're so beautiful to me

alright so anyhow my favorite people to talk to are changing really quickly
O and I think about every minute I spend thinking about *guess who* during the day is 30 min less I spend thinking about her at night. Last night the first one in awhile I slept most of it, in fact I was laying in bed having just woke up and was like, you know this time I don't think its 2:30 or even 3:20, its probably 5:30 I looked at my watch it was 5:41, pretty close and nearly a full nights sleep yay. Yesterday I sang about needing confidence that has like 20 uses in the next. . . just about every second. OOOOO and heres a stolen a thingy to tired to think of the right word. Any how I'll put my answers 1st and then my answers after looking at who I stole it from next.
"Count Down"
TEN Random Things About Me
10. I'm in band
9. I have 2 brothers/ Reeces are the best
8 . I'm Jewish/I believe in god, but believe to many people think of it wrong (needs explaining not trying to tell people what or how to believe)
7. I wear my watch on the wrong arm/chocolate cover strawberries are over rated lol
6. I'm the worst person on one of the best the AD teams/ our garden attempts in the backyard were utter failures
5. I dont have time to be doing this/
4. I still can't get over Kristin entirely
3. I've made a second blog
2. Mr. Brown said I could have gotten a 1 or 2 when I played my solo, and/ my worst enemy is definately me
1. I didn't practice or study as much as I should have yesterday

NINE Places I've Visited
9. New Jersey
8. New York
7. Vermont
6. Tennessee
5. California/ places that make me wish I was in Hell
4. Hershey Park
3. Dallas
2. Louisiana
1. Southwestern University

EIGHT Things I Want To Do Before I Die
8. make as many people as I can happy
7. make a positive impact upon this world
6. be forgotten so no ones sad when I leave
I guess it would be nice to:
5. Get a great job
4. Have a family
3. Be with the one I love (not any one person imparticular)
2. Be able to call it a great life and. . .
1. hmmm. . . be remembered kind or ironic

SEVEN Ways To Win My Heart
(theres not much to this)
7. like me
6. be a decent person
5. want me around
4. be willing to talk to me
3. being honest (helps)
2. be unique
1. and I realize half of these fit the 1st one but let me capture your heart
SIX Things I Believe In
6. Judaism
5. Logic
4. Practice/ life
3. Emotions/freedom
2. Love/rain doesn't do much but let you think, well techinically. . .
1. the world really doesn't care (some people in it do)

FIVE Things I'm Afraid Of
5. Leaving a negative impact
4. being forgotten
3. forgetting others
2. Losing my friends
1. I will fear death when it is nearer

FOUR of My Favorite Items In My Bedroom
4. My 2 favorite pillows
3. my alarm clock
2. my thoughts I"ve had there
1. stuff I've written

THREE Things I Do Everyday
3. over analyze
2. wish/hope for things that can't happen
1. Insult and contradict the insult 1000 times in an hour

TWO Things I Am Trying Not To Do Right Now
2. run out of time
1. be a monster

ONE Person I Want To See Right Now
1. hmmm.. . one person . . .the obvious no I've been enough of a bother probably Diedre or Liz right now Diedre

OK slashes mean after looking at hers and its on the number I was relating to
so alirght out of time have fun today

too slow

This post was supposed to say hey I"m finally ready to be crushed again. I'm finally confident, and I don't see anyway of it being crushed, the math quiz I was worried about was fine, the only thing is if the AD competition or the spring trip gets screwed up. I really hope that doesn't happen, but instead today was a full guilt trip not that that's enough to throw me off
so my number one thought was definately "I"m sorry" and other unique ways to say it while I felt really guilty, on almost every thought today.
Well then I got home and read this blog post, I realized when I was going to tell Kristin the reason for that wasn't that I thought of her as an enemy but rather that I still liked her. . . a lot, and I always seemed to make her miserable so I was trying not to pester her.
But when I read that post. . . that emotion I thought I had done a good job of sealing in that jar by my anger like my anger also managed to be able to slip out when it shouldn't.
I felt possesive for the first time in my life, thats a feeling I've always despised people saying she's mine or what not, but I was ok with it till I felt it, she not even my girlfriend I don't have a right to feel jealous when some one else gives her flowers, actaully it could have been a friend but for some reason I don't think so, and honestly it probably should be an admirer and give me another bar, because once again I have proven any time I am near her, I still wish things would work out. I even got asked to prom today and the thing that crossed my mind first was huh was she serious the answer to that was half way, and then that wish of Kristin, but I had to say yes because she said she no longer cares for me and I can't keep continuing to make decisions to wait for things that have been promised as impossible. I can't make her like me anymore, I need to stop apolgizing and let her be angry at me, but I can't do that I still only wish to be the best I can be in her eyes. its pathetic I know and I couldn't say anything before Valentines Day I didn't want. . .eerrgghh so hard to explain everything seems like it could be taken wrong. Anyways if you want to know ask and allow me to explain so I can be sure its not taken to far from what I honestly mean. O and Kristin I think I have an answer to why that made me feel better it was one of those few things I can take for honest and true one of the few things I can take as a guaranteed fact, see even things I'm absolutely sure are true like when you said you didn't feel anything for me, that you wouldn't say unless it were true, but my mind won't let me believe it, logic says it has to be true, but I can't believe my logic. So I'm stuck knowing a few truths and not trusting them being confused about just about everything else.
So my thought of the day again is: "I"m sorry"
My smile of the day: was seeing her smile
Hehe so lesson of the day be happy when good things happen and only be sad when its somthing you should be sad about
Today I learned how easily my hopes rise (not somthing about Kristin for once)
and biology had some interesting political arguments
the good note to end on is. . .
certainly not the fact that I now feel like I have theft to add to my list of self criticisms (nothing illegal for those who can't catch on), but
the truth although no champion, and although probably less liked by me than most people can be a true support and even a friend when there seem no good notes to rest on.

Valentine's/S.A.D.

Ok well last night went even better after the post got to talk about things I normally don't get a chance not that I think anyone really wanted to hear me say it or rather see me type it. Then I learned I got a complete stranger to compliment me and all 3 Michelles are Texas band people whoa thats crazy 2 are Jewish what are the chances.
Any how today was weird, started normal rushing to leave the house mom stalls, give her family Valentines card yadda yadda, so on the ride to school my mom mentioned somthing about Valentines and I finally told her she broke up with me since theres pretty much chance of it mending and nothing else was going wrong. She has the weirdest way of showing sympathy, "its probably better that way" any how then later during 1st period I this one color guard girl came up to me and talked a little and eventually said she thought Valentines Day was the worst day of the year yadda yadda nothing special I can understand not the way I feel but o well. So any how later my friend Kevin was asking who their was of the SAD somthing another and who was of couples, anyhow of course everyone I hang around is single, but then what near knocked me over is after all that complaining she had a Valentine. Now I know who it would have to be and he's one of the greatest guys, so why she was miserable on a day when she had someone to share it with and was happy when I couldn't share it with the person I wanted I don't think I'll ever understand or maybe by the end of this post somthing might clear up a little.
So ok before that I got some food thanks Michelle for the muffin it was delicious your probably one of the few people who like muffins more than me. and then I got chocolate things, and later in the halls I got a cookie
Yay no wonder I like Valentines DAy/SAD. OK so then one of the AD coaches got engaged, yay what fun, and the day went pretty smoothly till the end. I got to finish my AD essay a little after the bell rang. So then I practiced and blew my chops. real fast high B flat for awhile will do that. So I called 4:35 hoping to get home early since i had a scout meeting I had to make. My mom didn't get any messages till 4:55 at which she couldn't hear me anyways and picked me up 5 min later than normal, at which point I was overly honest said to much of my paranoia and ended up insulting someone, I think I've gotten a talent at making her miserable.
Sorry! for that and the random disconnection
Anyhow Then I went to the meeting and we were late my brother had to print off some stuff, errgh
Now I'm here and way behind my studying so going to do that now
Smile of the Day: hmm there were a few usually when someone gave me food: 1 Sara hurtled over chairs to catch me before I left and dragged me back to Michelle for a muffin, and meeting Jessi in the hall and her giving me a cookie.
Thought of the Day: I'm being a pest trying not to make her miserable, I'm so wonderful errgghh
Well sorry for those I've insulted and harmed but this time if I insulted you unlike the last post it was unintended its only because I"m miserable at trying to make things better.
Ok well have fun everyone, and eat blueberry muffins there yummy
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a few additions I forgot lunch everyone abandoned my table pretty early so after I finished I went outside to talk with Diedre and them, and she was sitting down so I put my books down and when I looked up she was an inch from my face I jumped back in surprise then she told me to take off my back pack, I was kind of confused and did it kind of slowly, and then she jumped on me with a giant hug that was fun. Suprised me but fun. Anyhow then I just caught that the chances of me finding 2 Jewish Clarinet players in Texas is none they're the same person. O and this morning I decided my health was my Valentine I'm finally healthy first day of school I've been healthy in like 2 weeks maybe 3 I've haven't been that sick in at least 10 years. There are a few things that contributed to it and this post is long enough ooooo a song not a good one but hey:
"I want to stand with you on the mountain, I want to bathe with you in the sea, I want to live life is forever until the sky falls down on me"
oh did you hear that because that was me singing you won't get to hear that often so once again
have fun everyone and if you decide to jump on somebody make sure you have them drop whatever they're holding and jump into their side so you don't kill them thanks Diedre. :-)

Cruel World

Today wasn't really a good or a bad day . . . it was more of a middle day.
It started wonderful got to talk to fun people. And upon opening my blog I was hoping for a comment and then thought about my post and was like o theres no way I'll get a comment theres nothing to comment on I didn't ask for one, but low and behold there one was. Someone thought my post was awesome. So then I got to talk to one of my favorite people to talk to at the moment, and as I was talking to her she ended up placing a post thinking she liked it, I was blown away. Then a kind of sadder moment I figured out how the counter stats worked and learned everyone there was either on Netscape or Internet Explorer and some other nifty stuff that made me feel like a stalker so now I can't really look at my site hit stats anymore :( but I'm 165 of my 355 visitors. Better than I thought. I got ahead on my Englsih reading, and got to talk to more people while telling them the weekend/day was good for some reason they asked why and so I showed them my post 2 more people said it was good, but I'm not sure if that was just being polite or not, thats the problem with things meant to be nice with politeness you never know if a good thing is really good. Anyway got to talk to fun people. Now for the part of the day that fits the title and managed to drop it from a good day to a mediocre one. Well I was looking at my site stats from the counter and I was ranked 110 in the category I put mine in (Culture and Relationships, there didn't seem any that really fit) and so I clicked it. Well the one ranked above mine had a description saying my story of changing from a man to a woman or somthing like that kind of freaked me out (not the bad part). I clicked to see what the top in the category were and. . . I'll say the 2nd one first because it is farther from driving me insane. I went to this love story thing, just kind of curious, still thinking of my break up. Anyhow it had ghost stories and love stories so
I went to one and it was about this girl who's parents didn't approve of her boyfriend and so when she told him he asked for pen, paper wrote somthing on it, told her not to open it till she got home, then right there pulled out a gun and shot himself in the head, she passed out, when she woke up and learned he was dead she found out the letter said he wouldn't live with out her. At the end he said that wasn't the end of the story (although the story was real) well the comments were all about Great story and I want to hear the rest a few said that it was sad. The comments all wanting to hear more and saying how great the story was made me sick
so I read another one
This one started off much better some guy normally very strong was very weak and needed to paramedics to carry him up to his 3rd story dorm room. It then went into how the long distance relationship made anything he could do to late. This far I was happy I figured long distance break up and was fine although, the next line changed. His girlfriend had committed suicide so she wouldn't have to marry her uncle's son, who her family had decided she would marry. He drove to her grave but was to late. Anyhow I read about 5 comments before being sickened again only one of these said it was sad they all said great story, what type of people can only say that stories like that are great and if they even mentioned it was sad, it was just that as they then elaborated on how great the story was I was pretty devastated.
Now the other part that tore me up. In the top few 1st was of course some porn site and other porn sites were scattered around, but in the top 10 was this hate site against gays. Now I'm not gay but I'm still pretty offended, on flat principle for one for if they were the majority the equivalent would be a hate site for straight people. But thats the least of my problems to not like somthing you should have a reason, but to hate. . .to hate somthing you absolutely need a reason at the minimum and for it to a person. . . it should take a lot, but a whole generalization of people is quite a task. So if you can't give a reason your an A#$ H%$, if you can and if its religious then that it was one of the most difficult ones for me to combat because I don't know where it says anything about it, and have a hard time aruguing, but I doubt to me of those people have strong religious convictions. The other reason I've heard is its not natural now this one absolutely disgusts me, because if you thought unnatural was bad, then you should stop every factory, tear down every house, stop every dam, turn off all power, just for a beginning of whats not natural, and if you think its wrong because its different then you are another one of those people who are the reason the Native Americans were pushed off their land, the African Americans were enslaved, the Jews were persecuted, and Hitler's attempt to make a perfect society. Now I on my own insult them enough on a daily basis thats beyond fair, with as many times as I use gay as an insult, but when people believe they need to make a site devoted to hating people, who don't represent anything violent, any truly negative place in society, or anything putting down any other idea. And not only do they feel a need to make the site but they have enough people going there on a daily basis for it to be ranked in the top 10 then we have a problem in society that needs to be fixed. If this is insulting to anyone it should be. If you can give me a reason why I am wrong I would love to hear it.
Now that angered me a bit and brought my gleeful happy day down to a mediocre sad day, but if I had to rate I won't let people like that make it a bad day so I will still call it a good day. Any how people need a little bit of tolerance in this world to get along we don't all have to like each other but we can't go around hating mass numbers of people we have never met because of somthing that won't affect us or hurt anyone, and being sent to Hell doesn't count because there is freedom of religion here.
Smile of the day: reading that comment on my blog
Thought of the day: I can't believe people thought that was good (my post)
Shevuah Tov, Shevuah Tov, Shevuah tov shevuah tov
A good week, A week of peace, May Gladness Reign and Joy Increase.

My Story

Hey this is a bit of a new view point for some, nothing to take to seriously, but somthing to think about, but I didn't steal the idea from anywhere this is entirely from my head. okay here goes.

I've created a world. I've created a world I don't live in. I've created a story full of people, full of life, full of places, full of many things.
In my story the characters have a chance to smile. In my story the characters have a chance to succeed. In my story the characters have a chance to live life.
In my story is it right to let them get hurt. In my story is it right to let them take a wrong turn. In my story is it right to let them ruin their lives.
In my story is it fair to give them flaws, is it fair to set them up for failure, is it fair to let them die. Is it fair to have them go through painful trials, just for my amusement, just for the amusement of the readers.
Or should my story have characters that always smile, are always happy, never have anything go wrong. Theres no excitement in that. . .it's just a story; what do the characters care, they're not people just imaginary parts in a world I have built. Their lives have no signifigance and are only there to please us or teach us a lesson, so what happens to them, the pain the anguish, the failure, and even the death does not matter.
So. . . who created our world.

celebration

Today started off feeling like one of those down-trodden sad gloomy days. By the end of school I felt the same way yet when I looked over the day nothing had gone wrong, it had been a wonderful day, yet didn't feel that way. For some reason going to Dave and Busters and playing video games just didn't seem fun, which is kind of weird since I love that stuff. Anyhow when we went it was awesome, I had fun, chaperoned a little, but they were good. I came home and they were routy again but hey there 10 I started worrying one of them would nail me with the nerf giant darts they were shooting over my head, but none hit.
In band today we had a sub and basically a free day. I used to play a card game called Magic the Gathering all the time its fun, but kind of old. Anyhow the guys a played with last year convinced me to play since I never took my deck out of my backpack. I really would have rather just talked with other friends, but I ended up just deciding to play, and spent half the time trying to watch the drum core video and the other half wishing I was talking to people. Thats so incredibly weird me wanting to talk to people. . . even weirder is I'ld rather be doing that then playing a strategy game. . . *shiver*
BUT I have seriously got to get over this shy, I already screwed up I'm not going to any more thing. . .its ridiculous if I keep this up much longer I'm going to end up losing friends that shouldn't be lost. Over mistakes I shouldn't have made, and have had plenty of chances to fix. So hopefully I get over it.
My smile was somthing at Dave and Busters.
My thought was hmm. . . not sure my thought was. . . somthing about Valentines Day. . .I'm not really sure which one was on my mind the most. I kind of worry when I say this people will take wrong though, so don't take it for any more than it is. . .o yea and since I've said that double meaning things I've pretty much stuck to single meanings.
A little though on that Valentines thing umm. . .I really wanted to get somthing for somebody, this Valentines Day, now normally one someone says that they might means flowers for a special somebody no but I literally mean somebody, anybody. . .I seriously contemplated getting flowers for a few people, but decided it would probably be taken the wrong way, and do things that shouldn't be done. I'm not really sure why I really want to, but its my last highschool Valentines Day, and I'll leave the topic here for now.

O and last night I got 10 hours of sleep it was amazing.

I know no one cares, but my lifes an open book it didn't use to be I used to keep locked in a safe with chains binding it, locks, and steel doors, the problem was I left the locks unlocked, the chains were broken, and the steel door was never shut, but no one cared to get near it. Now I"ve changed and I've let my life open to all who want to know, but still no one asks. No one cares, but if anyone does I'm willing to expand on anything or answer any questions about anything whether it be religious, personal, homework, or whatever else. So I'm here saying use me take advantage of me,
Now have fun this weekend most if not all of you deserve it, and umm. . .and seriously I love being asked questions
Alright so have fun this weekend, stay safe, and for those who can enjoy Valentines Day

the GREATEST FAVOR

I have one favor to ask of all of you: but before I do. . .
I want you to think of what you think I will ask??
I want you to think of those closest to you
I want you to think of those you love
I want you to think of those your friends with
I want you to think of those that have made a difference in your life
I want you to think of those you've met
I want you to think of those you've made a difference to
I want you to think of every face, name, action of any person you can remember
I want you to think of all those you've never met
I want you to think of all those you'll meet some day
I want you to think of all those you'll change some way
I want you to think of all those you'll never know.
Now after you've spent some time thinking this through. . .
if you would do just one favor its under comments so you could think this through before reading it. . .

Complaining

Today I couldn't decide if I wanted to do a worthwhile post or some cheap, worthless post where I get to complain. So I decided to do 2 I would do this one first so the other one would be seen so here goes my complaints.

Something is wrong.
I'm not sure what. . .I feel the healthiest I"ve been in awhile, only a few sniffles and coughs. I'm emotionally stable, it doesn't bother me anymore. I'm psychologically . . .umm. . .normal for me, the way I was before anything happenned.
I'm taking medicine to make me drowsy, yet every night this week I have gotten hardly any sleep. I've been up to about three with my mind rushing over thoughts from night to night they have drastically changed. But they won't let me sleep. 3 days is long time to go with 3 hours a night, Today I finally crashed in math class about the time my medicine was so supposed to wear off when my drowsiness should fade away, I got a head ache and my mind slowed down. I had to think to pay attention and only one thing could be thought no longer the mad rush of 1000 rushing ideas all rushing at once and somehow making sense while still making sense of all around me. Somthing is wrong with me not sure if its the sickness, or maybe its that sudden change of emotion from complete instability to the literal over night complete stability or maybe some psychological problem, maybe its the medicine. I'm not really sure but somthings wrong with me.
Well hopefully I get to sleep theres no AD tomorrow morning so I get to sleep till 2nd period, and then half my classes will be free b's and then my brothers bday party so tomorrow could actually be a good day. yay
So from the pathetic fool to all who read this, hey have fun, live life, and make the best of it.

the coldest smile

2:30 dismorning I was up, I had waken up, for once it wasn't because I couldn't sleep. It was weird I no longer burned, or wished, or hoped, or even really longed for her anymore. The pain was gone, and I was free. Some may think that would make me smile, but no, not a thing was really felt. Then I sung a song or rather hummed it, and suddenly I was miserable. I smiled. . . the coldest smile. For those who know me well enough, know why I smiled, but that number I believe is only one, me, and for those who care to know ask. I won't bite

Last night I realized I"ve been doing things all wrong I've been trying to hard to be happy. I was so emotionally unstable I got to the point, where at the doctor's opposite I had a tear come to my eye once just because a mom and her daughter sat by me, and 3 more times in the 10 min of a Bug's Life that I saw while waiting and it wasn't heroic or romantic parts just at random intervals. I realized that I had lost control and so my normal just will a feeling and it being there was gone. So first I needed to just stabilise on one emotion, the easiest is sad.

I'm thinking about having a daily smile and thought
my smile's at top
the thought that passed through my head the most today was "The world's not cold but I am"
I really don't know why I was so cold today it didn't seem like a cool day.

Most everything I say and do has more than one reason or motive, although lately when people have been asking I've only given one. So I'll try to be fully honest now. I 'm not really sure why but o well.

and a happy thought to finish hmmm. . .
well its more neutral but umm today I begin my life as my regular old self again, I don't really like it much, but its the one I was happy with for the 11 years I've lived here. Its the one I'm most comfortable with, just. . . o well
o and one last thing I just remembered dismorning I took my medicine right before school and the night before I had asked my mom what the medicine does (its prescription) she looked at the bottle strangely and then said coughing and congestion. . .so after taking it I looked at the warning label and this is what it read in big letters:
May Cause Drowsiness, Alcohol
May Cause Blurred Vision
May Cause Dizziness
I read it and was like o. . . probably not good especially since the last dose doesn't technically wear off for another 2 hours. lol well have fun
so everyone be happy with who you are. . . until next time.

sorry

I smiled once today, it was at a gray sky not that any one cares. . . and umm
sorry Kristin I'm a bit emotionally unstable so you might want to just ignore what I say for awhile it might be kind of mean, or blaming my self, or self pitying or blaming others, or somthing I don't really know. Or if you find it amusing then have fun wit it.
And umm. . .can I ask for a question/favor probably a last one.

tap, tap, tap

tap, tap, tap the sound I heard last night
I lied in bed trying to sleep, but the tapping wouldn't let me.
At 11:30 I got sick and tired I thought and the big clock hasn't for years,
the sound was faster than any clock should be, but it was rythmic so I got desperate I needed sleep
I grabbed my alarm clock I felt for the cord and ripped out of the wall. I layed back down
tap, tap, tap the sound I heard last night continued in my ear, it was so quiet it was dull, it was so rythmic, but every once in awhile it would get off.
I lied in bed trying to sleep after awhile I was still wide awake and I didn't want to be awake the thoughts I thought were eating me.
So I grabbed the metals hanging on my wall, and threw them on the ground hoping it was them, as I walked back to bed
tap, tap, tap was the sound I heard last night.
I layed in bed till 12:30 frustrated and tired, I thought it may have been my brother doing homework but it was too constant, or my dad typing, but it was too slow
I went to switch beds but when I got to the door, the light was on my dad was still up and I considered the internet so much louder yet it wasn't the tapping and looked at the window, it was raining hard, it was raining hard
I realized that thats what the tapping was, I don't understand how my room was so quiet, I don't understand why it was so rythmic.
I lied in bed and then I was so tired I got up and the light was out but upstairs was no good so I went downstaris the rain was so loud, the rhythm absolutely gone. My dad was in the kitchen, guranteed to find me, I didn't want to lie again, but I was tired so I turned the lights out and layed down my dad never noticed. I finally got to sleep, after awhile.

While I lay in bed my heart thumped so hard my whole body shook with each one, and first I had to wait for that to cease before I could even begin to sleep.

some songs seem like entire lies things you tried, but didn't work and othertimes the song right afterwards sounds like they are talking about you it seems so true.

Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is tumbling down
I can say it so clearly
But you're nowhere around

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinking about
The love that we had
And I'm missing you
And nobody knows it but me

All but the last stanza of the song tends to fit for those who want to look up the rest of the lyrics (Kevin Sharp Nobody Knows it But Me), but anyhow time to get over it
I was laying on the couch and my mom said we would have to leave soon. . .so as I layed there I suddenly heard her yell my name from upstairs "Scott where are you" I look around to remember where I am, and then I yell I'm down here, my mom's right across from here and softly says, Scott no one called you,
so if anyone wants to know my diagnosis other than halluinating, I'm 5ft 10in 130 lbs have a virus, need tons of rest should take off tomorrow but can't afford to. I have been crushed probably for the last time in awhile, and if I managed to somehow get crushed again it would take some magnificent force to give me the hope to be crushed. The only thing I had to be thankful for yesterday or rather that was dismorning was that the rain finally stopped. Now I think all the lies are gone but if they are anymore come on I'm clueless over trusting and lost please just be honest.
Well have fun

one. . .last. . . and first

"whatever you want" the words that have rang through my head for the last 24 hours, what i want isn't possible, it isn't even probable or at least thats what I'm telling myself. In fact I never even decided entirely what I want, I spent so much time thinking I can't attain it. On thinking I don't really know much of what I want as I see every possibility as just another place where the chinese curse "May you get what you wish for", prove its value.

one person, one effort, one idea, one soldier, one grain of rice, one push, one conversation. . . won't win a superbowl, tip the scale, win a war, form a belief, complete a task, or do anything that makes a difference.

Although one last person can make a difference count, one last effort can complete the task, one last idea can form a belief, one last soldier can change the tide in a war, one last grain of rice can shift the scale, one last push can give you a chance, one last conversation can, who really knows. . .

But there is no last person without a first who could not make a difference, without a first effort there would never be a need of a final one, without the first idea no one would want a belief, without the first soldier the last wouldn't have a chance, without the first grain their wouldn't be a point, without a first push their would be no finals, with out a first conversation there could be no last.

So. . .anyhow I'm completely confused not about what I was about to say and then a really cold feeling, but I'm on a no deleting except for grammar and spelling things (experimenting with suggestions) so to what I was saying. . .
so. . . anyhow I was going to say this morning I was up and knew it was going to be near impossible to get to school any earlier with my parents so I planned out everything how early I had to wake them up with out wasting a minute of their sleep. i woke her up with the 10 min warning (saying she needed to be up in 10 min) my dad even helped me out here 10 min later she was up. then all was ready I was about to leave She was exactly as I predicted I could get their with 10 min of warm up and after somthing goes wrong thats still 5 min. My brother hadn't done his homework so I had to go do it, somthing about euro, by the time I had been asked it was 10 min later. We got there just in time so I got about 5 warm up notes and did wretched missing partials left and right and that threw me off enough that I miscounted the rests. Then my family forgot I existed so later when my dad came up he's like o yea umm. . .we ate dinner and forgot about you, you might want to make a sandwich. Other than that though they've done a great job of remembering me for help on all the homework, dishes, and anything else that needs being done, and my brother just gave me some cheap gum (YAY).
How come those who bother you, you wish would ignore you, and those that you want to bother you, for the most part are ignoring you?
I learned a new trick today not sure yet how to do it though I'm afraid to test the way I think its done, but the one thing I do know is its cruel. and normally I would think someone would say bye first, but i"m assuming I was blocked.
Utter silence yet again o well. Back to talking to myself and only me, I guess I asked for it
so to the world [somthing I deleted] just be happy. . .

half random trivia

"Whats the number one watched show in America?"
asks my english teacher, we guessed all types of reality tv versions of Survivor must have been named 100 times finally she told us. . .

check the posts for the answer

After she told us that to show us how different some countries were from us she then had us try and guess what the number one watched show in France was. . .

I want to see if anyone can guess I'll and then I'll post it.
O and just a reminder to those who haven't yet told my brother happy birthday his party's this Friday

half random trivia

"Whats the number one watched show in America?"
asks my english teacher, we guessed all types of reality tv versions of Survivor must have been named 100 times finally she told us. . .

check the posts for the answer

After she told us that to show us how different some countries were from us she then had us try and guess what the number one watched show in France was. . .

I want to see if anyone can guess I'll and then I'll post it

Quotes

No love, no friendship can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. -Francois Mauriac

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

Agatha Christie

Where love is, no room is too small.

Talmud

To love is to suffer.

To avoid suffering one must not love.

But then one suffers from not loving.

Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer.

To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love.

To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy

Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness.

I hope you're getting this down.

Woody Allen

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. - Robert A. Heinlein

When you love someone all your saved up wishes start coming out. - Elizabeth Bowen To be happy is to love.

To be happy then is to suffer.

But suffering makes one unhappy

Love is as strict as acting. If you want to love somebody, stand there and do it. If you don't don't. There are no other choices. - Tyne Daly

funny

try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. - Jennifer Unlimited

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people. - Gilbert Chesterton

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

Bad spellers of the world - Untie! - Graffiti

Always do right. That will gratify some of the people, and astonish the rest. - Mark Twain

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. - Jerome K. Jerome

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. - Mark Twain

If I owned both Texas and Hell, I'd rent out Texas and live in Hell. - Philip Henry Sheridan

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. - Catherine Aird

Trying is just the first step toward failure. - Homer Simpson

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office. - Robert Frost

Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive. - Elbert Hubbard

Man has made use of his intelligence; he invented stupidity. - Remy de Gourmont

Since I gave up hope, I feel much better. – Unknown

When people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. - Oscar Wilde

The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them. - Robert Frost

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it. - Clarence Darrow

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians. - Henrik Ibsen

Good

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example. - Mark Twain

Tolerence is the only real test of civilization. - Arthur Helps

Wealth consists not in having great possessions but in having few wants. - Epicurus

The better part of happiness is to wish to be what you are. - Desiderius Erasmus

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards. - Soren Kierkegaard

It's a very short trip. While alive, live. - Malcolm Forbes

Fall seven times, stand up eight. - Japanese proverb

Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. - T.S. Eliot

Daring ideas are like chessmen moved forward; they may be beaten,
but they may start a winning game. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The only time you mustn't fail is the last time you try. - Charles F. Kettering

Life is painting a picture, not doing a sum. - Justice O. W. Holmes

Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome. - Samuel Johnson

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. - Lao-tzu

Something

‘Heathens and savage tribes hold that doctrine; but Christians and civilised nations disown it.’ Jane Eyre P.60

“It is weak and silly to say you cannot bear what it is your fate to be required to bear” Jane Eyre P.58

“:This obscure chaos would have disturbed my peace: as it was, I derived from both a strange excitement, and, reckless and feverish, I wish the wind to howl more wildly, the gloom to dephen to darkness, and the confusion to rise to clamour.” Jane Eyre P.57

"It's rock-paper-scissors as to whether
I will get over you at all
It's hand against hand
and both hands are mine

I never thought I'd see the day
when I would say, I give up
And break the stallions of my wildest expectations
But I do not want to know you this way,
surrounded by so much pain
And how am I supposed to let go of you this way?"
- Ani DiFranco, Rock Paper Scissors

"If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand." - ?

"Within you I lose myself. Without you I find myself wanting to be lost again." - ?

If you love someone, let them go. If they return to you, it was meant to be. If they don't their love was never yours to begin with." - ?

Write the bad things that happen to you in sand, but write the good things that happen to you in marble." - Arabic Parable

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely." - ?

"Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life." - Burton Hills

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." - Bill Cosby

It's funny how I feel so much I can not say a word, We are screaming inside but we can't be heard." - Sarah McLachlan I Will Remember You

Every man dies. Not every man lives." - Tim Robbins

"Cry because you can - no other excuse,
It takes hope to cry, such is crying's use.
When you cry, you admit it can be better,
Before your cheeks became so much wetter.
There was a time that life worked out,
Cry and admit hope is there,
You will have to admit that you care."

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. " - John Lennon

"Why do we try?
What do we hope for?
Can these dreams be realized,
or shall we realize that they are only dreams?
And why, though one may be afflicted by nothing,
can one feel so much pain." - ?

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. " - John Lennon

"Silence is the ultimate weapon of power." - Charles DeGaulle

I could have missed the pain, but I would've had to miss the dance." - Garth Brooks

"It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do for yourself." - Eleanor Roosevelt

To say you acted childishly is an insult to children everywhere."

Good judgement comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement."

When you teach your son, you teach your son's son." – Talmud

Mine

And to prove I was a real leader, me the shy quiet guy with a loud commanding voice I had some work to do, or in this case the romantic who could do more than stutter I have a lot of work to do, but here goes: There are quotes about just about everything love is loving yourself, life is worthless without love, there aren’t enough starts to mark your greatness, love is missing the flaws, the list goes on, but few truly say what I truly wish to say. So. . . I love when you smile. . . I love knowing I made you happier. . . I love when you have fun with your friends. . . I love hearing you were talking about me. . .

. .I could go on forever beyond the number of quotes I found, beyond the number of stars in the sky, but you probably have class to worry about so c ya later.

"I would trade lives with you in an instant, not because I hate my life or its miserable, but rather because I love my life and only wish you could experience it too."

Me aka the weird guy

If a life could be ruined by a single broken heart. . . wouldn't most the world be ruined. You can't think that just because you broke someone's heart their life is ruined. I was bound to have someone else do it sooner or later. The first time will always be the hardest one, after that you're no longer like a newborn baby who finds everything amusing because its new to them, but you’re then a little more ready and hardened, and really u know it will be ok, because the last time it was. . .or so I hope I get that far.

Say What

Ha, you have done it, you have managed to make one of those life-changing marks on a life. , You can never be forgotten.

How come when everything seems to finally fit, everything seems so perfect, I have enough achievements to smile back on and there are things left to fail, but only enough that there’s hope that I can succeed and maybe grow. How come now when everything is almost exactly as I could have wished it am I so miserable?

I was sure of something all along, but they all either weren’t sure or told me I was wrong, so I fought and battled to make it right, but in the end when I finally managed to listen, I learned I was right all along.

There is so much I can say for once so much I was ready for, I finally had the will to act, I finally had the courage to move, but just too late as now that I had it my hands were tied, my lips are sealed, and my movement is frozen.

I miss so much. . .the problem is most of what I miss I still have.
I miss my friends, I miss myself, I miss my life.
I have my friends they never left me, I backed them off a little for someone I have lost, but never told them I found and probably won't find again, but these friends I don't miss for they haven't changed, its the friends I brought closer the friends that weren't mine, the friends I borrowed, the friends I stole, who are still close friends but just not mine for they belong to someone else.
I miss myself the unfeeling guy who paced in a corner, happy when he wanted to be, sad too if he wanted, causing smiles sometimes, and always talking to himself with out a care of sanity. Such long and tried debates with a guarantee of losing, and only small risk of harming others, or even the other guy who talked less to himself and more to another, shy as always but not worried, trying to be the greatest friend always trying to help, always happy and smiling, the saddest thing for him was others misery. I miss him too, if only I could have one of them back but no I get neither.
I miss my life; yet I still live; my future is not ruined. It rather seems a dream to most including me who see it, but I like the old one better it was only me I harmed, and I didn't have to worry about others most the time. I didn't have the guilt of making others miserable, I miss my old life but what is there to do other than starting to like my new one.
Well for now good bye and smile all another post that can be seen from me to all who care to read

2/5/05

I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish

I wish I could hit publish I wish I could. . . I wish I would if only one sentence if only one word if only a letter or even a number, if I was only allowed to type a symbol or a slash, or if it were only an underscore I wish I could. . . post it I wish I could IM it, I wish I could email it I wish I could say it, but all I can do is think it, I'm not allowed to say, not till she says I can say, but I fear when she says it. . .it will be to late.

A comment that never could be posted 2/5/05 5:34pm

Love is the most selfish emotion, it makes you forgot about all others, all else, all needs in an effort to fill that burning whole left by love. I used to be so selfless caring almost nothing for myself, always wanting others to succeed holding doors open when I could be that first class gentleman to always help out, but then love hit me on the head. After that others didn’t matter all I wanted was to fulfill that spot of love to make it stop hurting, to feel the warmth again, all I wanted was to make it work, but in the hope of following love, I only held the door half heartedly I stopped worrying about them, with only one thing in mind. . . Love, the most selfish emotion. 2/5/05 5:57pm

A single tear a solitary tear, is all I give to the outside world,
A single tear from my right eye sits upon my face,
A single tear I wipe away,
A single tear returns.

I thought I was thinking of just the roofers above my head but,
I don't think I would lose a tear just for them so,
I thought maybe it was for the sleep I lost,
I went to bed early but got little sleep,

For last night I went to bed, at 9 but was wide awake till 11 still actively thinking,
For this morning I was up at 4:15 eating breakfast starving for some sad reason,
For myself I thought till 5:15 before thinking of sleeping and then,
For waking up I was up by 7 with a single tear, a solitary tear

Then I sat and thought for an hour maybe longer who really cares,
Then I turned the tv on not thinking any more,
Then I witnessed a Valentine's commercial,
Then I had a tear a solitary tear sitting upon my left eye

Now my single solitary tear is gone, the one and only one,
Now I'm typing this knowing no one will see it,
Now I'm back to me, wondering who cares,
Finally I"m done, It no longer continues.?

from me to her who I dare not tell

2/5/05

Sad

We enjoy warmth because we have been cold.
We appreciate light because we have been in darkness.
By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.
-David Weatherford

A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
-Joseph Stalin

There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course.
Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.
-Carl Jung

When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.
-Winston Churchill

Better by far you should forget and smile than that you should remember and be sad.
-Christina Georgina Rossetti

A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary.
Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death.
-Albert Einstein

Hating people is like burning down your house to kill a rat
-Henry Fosdick

In solitude, where we are least alone
-Lord Byron

Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.
-Helen Keller

We ignore the ones who adore us, and adore the ones who ignore us.
-Anonymous

How do I say goodbye to what we had, the good times that made us laugh outweigh the bad, I thought we'd get to see forever, but forevers gone away - it's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday
-Anonymous

A man is called selfish, not for pursuing his own good, but for neglecting the neighbor's.
-Richard Whately

Break Up

Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there.
Otomo No Yakamochi

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
Charlie Brown

Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.
Washington Irving

God is closest to those with broken hearts. ~Jewish Saying Whhaaatt

Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated. ~Lamartine

In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together. ~Author Unknown

Bad as I like ye, it's worse without ye. ~Irish Proverb

Yes, I will go. I would rather grieve over your absence than over you. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

Adversity

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. ~M. Kathleen Casey

If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience. ~Robert Fulghum

If you're going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill

We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, "Why did this happen to me?" unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way. ~Author Unknown

The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief. ~William Shakespeare, Othello

We acquire the strength we have overcome. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders. ~Jewish Proverb

Bad is never good until worse happens. ~Danish Proverb

When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful. ~Barbara Bloom

We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking, only to learn that it is God who is shaking them. ~Charles C. West

The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem. ~Theodore Rubin

If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change. ~John A. Simone, Sr.

When written in Chinese the word "crisis" is composed of two characters - one represents danger and the other represents opportunity. ~John F. Kennedy, address, 12 April 1959

That some good can be derived from every event is a better proposition than that everything happens for the best, which it assuredly does not. ~James K. Feibleman

If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

We do survive every moment, after all, except the last one. ~John Updike

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience. ~Author Unknown

Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive. ~Josephine Hart

Yes, one must suffer, even in vain, so as not to have lived in vain. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

God uses suffering as a whetstone, to make men sharp with. ~Henry Ward Beecher

Real pain can alone cure us of imaginary ills. We feel a thousand miseries till we are lucky enough to feel misery. ~Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Better to lose count while naming your blessings than to lose your blessings to counting your troubles. ~Maltbie D. Babcock

May you get what you wish for. ~Old Chinese Curse

Prosperity is not without many fears and distastes, and adversity is not without comforts and hopes. ~Francis Bacon

The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism. ~Norman Vincent Peale

The darkest hour has only sixty minutes. ~Morris Mandel

God gave burdens, also shoulders. ~Yiddish Proverb

Tragedy is restful: and the reason is that hope, that foul, deceitful thing, has no part in it. ~Jean Anouilh, Antigone, 1942

My strength is made perfect in weakness. ~II Corinthians

The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than in growing with them. ~Bernard M. Baruch

Like a plant that starts up in showers and sunshine and does not know which has best helped it to grow, it is difficult to say whether the hard things or the pleasant things did me the most good. ~Lucy Larcom

Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor. ~Truman Capote

Having is not so pleasing a thing as wanting, it may not be logical but it is often true. ~Mr. Spock, Star Trek

The cold is a good counselor, but it is cold. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

Rock bottom is good solid ground, and a dead end street is just a place to turn around. ~Buddy Buie and J.R. Cobb, "Rock Bottom" (song)

That was rough.... Thing to do now is try and forget it.... I guess I don't quite mean that. It's not a thing you can forget. Maybe not even a thing you want to forget.... Life's like that sometimes... Now and then for no good reason a man can figure out, life will just haul off and knock him flat, slam him agin' the ground so hard it seems like all his insides is busted. But it's not all like that. A lot of it's mighty fine, and you can't afford to waste the good part frettin' about the bad. That makes it all bad.... Sure, I know - sayin' it's one thing and feelin' it's another. But I'll tell you a trick that's sometimes a big help. When you start lookin' around for something good to take the place of the bad, as a general rule you can find it. ~From the movie Old Yeller