Dating 9/25/11

So this is supposed to let me date when we started dating and what not.
Ok so she first kissed me on the Friday that was Empire's anniversary, I'ld say funny story but I guess I"m not supposed to say stories and what not.
Then lets see that weekend I was up giving Brandon his car back. So those events should let me date it in the future.
So things have been great, wonderful, stupendous. I was feeling on top of the world, skip in my step. . .almost literally (by almost I mean that while I wasn't skipping I was actually running places again).
Then apparently today I messed up big. While I feel like I should be pleading for forgiveness and saying I"m sorry I also feel like to do that, I should at least not intend on skipping out on her again like this. But the problem is I would. . .

What did I do:
Her friend came into town who she intended to hang out with last night, but she went to the wrong place so instead of changing locations she hung out with a different friend and told me she'ld see me today.

Then when I asked if I should pick her up for super nerdom, she said no she was hanging out with her friend and I should go hang out with them, she told me the location when i had just finished driving from Pearland to League City . . . they were in "Pearland area". So I decided being that I ditched Chris last week, there are no sub dm's and I swore to myself that I would keep that as my self therapy (WHich has 2 sides one the goal is to keep it as regular as physically possible of time to just have mindless fun with bad jokes and friends, and 2 I also swore to myself that I needed to make sure I do stuff for me first, and not become a slave for the girl like I did with Diedre). Yes I realize I'm doing a lot of rationalizing but that's what I do, doubly so when I feel guilty. Although the reality is the same if that decision came up again I would feel shitty all over again and make the same mistake, its not like the game was really any fun, it was kind of like bouncing between forgetting the world and being endlessly anxious. I managed to finish by 10, but then didn't try to catch up because I felt like she no longer wanted me around.

Some other thoughts that I don't feel quite so free to say, but I guess it comes down to I'm not the person I used to be, and I still think I am; which has some interesting interactions when I see how my scars change my actions.


OK I guess time to go find some quotes and then I'll log off
"We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people".
-- Arthur Schopenhauer

"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home".
-- Robert Orben

"Only exceptionally rational men can afford to be absurd".
-- Allan Goldfein
Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true.
-- Niels Bohr, to a young physicist

In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.
-- Mogens Jallberg

Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself.
-- Peter da Silva

The computer is a moron.
-- Peter Drucker
Do definite good; first of all to yourself, then to definite persons.
-- John Lancaster Spalding

How helpless we are, like netted birds, when we are caught by desire!
-- Belva Plain