tap, tap, tap

tap, tap, tap the sound I heard last night
I lied in bed trying to sleep, but the tapping wouldn't let me.
At 11:30 I got sick and tired I thought and the big clock hasn't for years,
the sound was faster than any clock should be, but it was rythmic so I got desperate I needed sleep
I grabbed my alarm clock I felt for the cord and ripped out of the wall. I layed back down
tap, tap, tap the sound I heard last night continued in my ear, it was so quiet it was dull, it was so rythmic, but every once in awhile it would get off.
I lied in bed trying to sleep after awhile I was still wide awake and I didn't want to be awake the thoughts I thought were eating me.
So I grabbed the metals hanging on my wall, and threw them on the ground hoping it was them, as I walked back to bed
tap, tap, tap was the sound I heard last night.
I layed in bed till 12:30 frustrated and tired, I thought it may have been my brother doing homework but it was too constant, or my dad typing, but it was too slow
I went to switch beds but when I got to the door, the light was on my dad was still up and I considered the internet so much louder yet it wasn't the tapping and looked at the window, it was raining hard, it was raining hard
I realized that thats what the tapping was, I don't understand how my room was so quiet, I don't understand why it was so rythmic.
I lied in bed and then I was so tired I got up and the light was out but upstairs was no good so I went downstaris the rain was so loud, the rhythm absolutely gone. My dad was in the kitchen, guranteed to find me, I didn't want to lie again, but I was tired so I turned the lights out and layed down my dad never noticed. I finally got to sleep, after awhile.

While I lay in bed my heart thumped so hard my whole body shook with each one, and first I had to wait for that to cease before I could even begin to sleep.

some songs seem like entire lies things you tried, but didn't work and othertimes the song right afterwards sounds like they are talking about you it seems so true.

Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is tumbling down
I can say it so clearly
But you're nowhere around

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinking about
The love that we had
And I'm missing you
And nobody knows it but me

All but the last stanza of the song tends to fit for those who want to look up the rest of the lyrics (Kevin Sharp Nobody Knows it But Me), but anyhow time to get over it
I was laying on the couch and my mom said we would have to leave soon. . .so as I layed there I suddenly heard her yell my name from upstairs "Scott where are you" I look around to remember where I am, and then I yell I'm down here, my mom's right across from here and softly says, Scott no one called you,
so if anyone wants to know my diagnosis other than halluinating, I'm 5ft 10in 130 lbs have a virus, need tons of rest should take off tomorrow but can't afford to. I have been crushed probably for the last time in awhile, and if I managed to somehow get crushed again it would take some magnificent force to give me the hope to be crushed. The only thing I had to be thankful for yesterday or rather that was dismorning was that the rain finally stopped. Now I think all the lies are gone but if they are anymore come on I'm clueless over trusting and lost please just be honest.
Well have fun