I won't be changing the temporary post
"I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me" the first song played by my brothers stereo.
I'm currently losing a fight with myself, my away message for the day
How many times can you get shot (down?) before you no longer get back up?
I have so much to read for English and I can't read it, I'm absolutely screwed because there is no way I'll have time to read it tomorrow, unfortunately thats not the problem, the problem is I don't care it makes no difference that I'm to screw up 3 classes which will destroy 2 more of my 6 total in about 48 hours. I don't care that my future is so close so easy to have and I might be throwing it away.
I hate emotions they allow somthing so small to screw up somthing so large.

"Do what you want" "How complicated is it" huh? what I want, what I want. . .as complicated as 1+1 and 2-1 the problem is the answer isn't always 2 and 1. for those who care to solve the riddle good luck, for those who care you can ask, but for once I don't know if I care to give an answer I probably will but no guarantees.
What I want is not what everyone else wants. I"m. . . . . . . . . I don't know . . .me, but I"m getting sick and tired of emotions I don't see much good in them, the only thing they seem to have is the point of life and existance, but other than that they seem absolutely useless.

Things seemed full circle today from when there was a happy heart that I loved for a buddy icon. It seemed so cool the task bar at the bottom, it read I and then a heart but the my trombone couldn't be read and then beside the buddy icon it read Kristin and so it looked like I heart Kristin it was so pretty. Today there is still a heart as her buddy icon, but it no longer is red and flashing now it's a dark blue heart, dying with the text the world is black, and hearts are cold. The cycle is on the opposite side of the spectrum now. If I believed in signs I would say this is when things were turn around and start coming back, but I don't and I'm keeping to logic for it has only failed me once, and emotion trying to replace it faired much worst. So since logic says things will get worst as pain has turned bitter, I agree with it I hate it, but "how much worst will it get" Probably much worst than now and then I"ll be forgotten and it won't matter, for those who don't remember don't suffer. I was originally going to use 50 First Dates as a half positive analogy to life but well for those who have seen it, take it as you will.
Final note for logic my logic has been utterly surprised twice or I wish it was twice. The first was when I found some liked me someone was dumb enough to think I was great, think I was somthing worth caring about. The second I first believed when I heard I had a second chance, I pretend I didn't see being lied to about a second chance I hope I didn't see it.
You know that song at the top seemed so over-doing it, I always thought it was just dumb, today I changed my mind.
I hate ending on a bad note,so. . .
I suck but for all of you who aren't me. . .
smile, don't screw up your life, and be happier tomorrow