Play Nice
. . . unpredictable, but in the end its right, I hope you had the time of your life. (singing)
Why do people lie to me, Why am I more miserable after succeeding than after failing, Why is so much wrong? All these questions I plan to attempt to answer through this post but before I start I'll name off somthing I find funny, for a good start, because supposebly "with out a good start there won't be a good end".
"Coughing can get you sick" my dad suddenly says. I don't remember exactly what we were talking about, but it half way fit the conversation and half way was just random, me and my brother the 15 year old one not 11 both jumped on him and were telling him no, coughing is your body clearing diseases out of your body. He said we were right, but it irritates your throat and can get you sick. now my brothers in Freshman biology on the microbiology unit, and I'm in AP Biology same unit, so not only do I love this type of stuff and what my dads saying make no sence, its also very fresh in our minds. Your throat doesn't help with the immune system by producing white blood cells or anything else similiar so irritating it isn't going to weaken your defenses and at the same time coughing certainly doesn't produce germs. So after awhile of arguing and my dad told us he was told by a doctor, my mom decided to call a doctor now I was thinking you can't bother a doctor over somthing like this, but then I realized she was calling one of her best friends who worked as a nurse. She answered and my dad talked a little bit and after awhile said here let me put you on speaker phone because they don't believe me, and she confirmed that if your not sick and your coughing you won't get sick, and the only way somthing of that idea can happen is if you are already sick it can spread the germs into your throat, but thats kind of common sense.
I found that funny I'm not sure how many other people will but o well.
Anyhow back to the point of this post (yay I get to complain some more).
Why do people lie to me? I know I'm not the quickest to catch on I"m gullible and over-trusting. I like being able to trust people so much I just wish it wasn't over-trusting but how trustworthy people really were. but that still doesn't seem like any reason to lie to me.
You lie to your parents to get out of trouble, but I'm not going to yell at anyone, I won't put anyone in time out, I can't punish people, so obviously this isn't why they lie to me
You lie to some people to make them feel better (a white lie) like when someone asks if they look fat in this, and you realize it really doesn't matter what they're wearing, but you say no. For those who know me I'm not the person that cares to be put down, fail, or anything else, and trying to give false hopes to keep people happier isn't somthing to do unless your nearly ominiscent or have some special reliable reason to believe the hope will last until breaking it won't matter anymore. I can't even think of another reason people would lie to me
So why do people lie to me those who don't can't answer and those who do won't so I'll never know, but o well.
Question 2: Why do my successes feel so much worst than my failures?
I failed to get an answer for the question above and I don't really mind, yet my last success is more painful than my last 50 failures combined. I was so happy with what I had done, until I'ld tried to go to sleep, and then it didn't work so well. Theres a phrase in my synogauge's siddur books it says somthing like
In the day the word is spoken
In the night the truth is revealed
It sometimes seems so true I realized somthing I dare not say. If I'm asked I'll willingly say it to whoever asked but I dare not say because some might not want to hear.
I'm used to failing all the time and then I can blame myself failing the task, but when you succeed what happens afterwards is all your fault for it is what you wanted, exactly what you asked for, all the peices are in place, everything is almost exactly as I wanted it, accomplishments to look back on, hopes to look up to, nothings going wrong so why I am so miserable I don't know.
Question 3: Why is everyone so sick or miserable? I got sick about 15 minutes after looking back and deciding I had 2 things to be thankful for:
1 that things aren't as bad as they could be (life could still get worst), and
2 that I was still healthy
So I don't plan on repeating what I'm still thankful for.
But everyone's sick and those aren't sick are even worst theres families being destroyed, lives being lost others being ruined, still another that I never saw frown if she would have I may have collapsed, she even collected care bear stickers, I wasn't even sure if she knew what sad was. Yet now I hear that she has serious depression and now has to take medicine and switch high schools. How could a life at such happy place be one so miserable just a year later. The world seems to be falling apart, I can't help any of them and the little I tried only makes things worst. I hate being absolutlely helpless, better than ruininly lives though. So far of all the friends I can think of only one of them is truly happy and healthy, thank god someone fits this.
So anyhow I don't this even can attempt to be answered but if you have one that would be amazing could you please tell me.
Now the questions are done and I nearly am. I was so surprised my dad never notices anything, and yet a few days ago he asked me if anything was wrong of course I lied because I really didn't want to make things more of a mess than they already are (is that why people lie to me I promise I'll keep it simple) I said everything was fine and took my shower, my mom hadn't said a thing and when she doesn't it usually means no one will notice. My mom tries so hard, I love her to pieces even though so often lately she's on my nerves. Oh and I've given up the not putting myself down thing it doesn't make me feel any better and it mutes me to often.
And to finish on a happy note I'll say my laugh of yesterday:
I was sitting in English half dead and barely able to do anything. One of my old friends Dev who's become a class clown since we were close friends, went up to the kid in front of me and was like you have to look at Scott's eyes there so cool and crystally I was laughing and he was like stop smiling (so he could see them). As ugly and gnarled looking as I may be, I have pretty eyes, yay!!!!!!!! So anyhow it was pretty funny watching this guy trying to force another guy to look at my eyes. It was fun well smile, be happy and stay healthy or in most peoples case get healthier.
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