i miss. . .

I miss so much. . .the problem is most of what I miss I still have.
I miss my friends, I miss myself, I miss my life.
I have my friends they never left me, I backed them off a little for someone I have lost, but never told them I found and probably won't find again, but these friends I don't miss for they haven't changed, its the friends I brought closer the friends that weren't mine, the friends I borrowed, the friends I stole, who are still close friends but just not mine for they belong to someone else.
I miss myself the unfeeling guy who paced in a corner, happy when he wanted to be, sad too if he wanted, causing smiles sometimes, and always talking to himself with out a care of sanity. Such long and tried debates with a guarantee of losing, and only small risk of harming others, or even the other guy who talked less to himself and more to another, shy as always but not worried, trying to be the greatest friend always trying to help, always happy and smiling, the saddest thing for him was others misery. I miss him too, if only I could have one of them back but no I get neither.
I miss my life; yet I still live; my future is not ruined. It rather seems a dream to most including me who see it, but I like the old one better it was only me I harmed, and I didn't have to worry about others most the time. I didn't have the guilt of making others miserable, I miss my old life but what is there to do other than starting to like my new one.
Well for now good bye and smile all another post that can be seen from me to all who care to read