apologies & guilt

So I should know better than to post in the day time. I'm always more vengeful in the day time. I'm always less in control then too, I'm not sure why. So I wanted to apologize to Diedre for the last post. Here or the other one I don't really remember, if she wants I'll delete it. I've been feeling kind of terrible about it pretty shortly after i typed it. There's part of prayer in Judaism or at least my synogauge I had always thought was sort of true but also kind of creepy cuz it seemed to lack any reason for being true or even really being in the service. "In the morning the word is spoken, in the evening the truth revealed." I"m sure its out of context but the line itself is part of a set of lines that sort of feel out of context, and don't go together in anything but generally mood and idea. I've always had this issue, for example my dad used to always whine that during the day I always left the lights on and at night I would sit in rooms with the light off not realizing it wasn't just me being wierd or lazy (ok maybe wierd) but during the days if I was frustrated or mad at them I would leave the lights on (since he always whined about it) in retaliation, and at night I would always feel bad about it and turn them off to make up for it.
Ok so time for a quote heres some more stuff from Seether, sort of talentless band, but lately they seem to have some decent lyrics to match my emoness.

"listen closely, I'm lost without you
Call your name every day when i feel so helpless
I'm fallin' down but i'll rise above this, rise above this"

"I could bleed for a smile, i could cry for some fun
There's so much left in the air
So much to tell from a stare
There's so much left to defend"

PS I wouldn't reccomend actually listening to them.