Workout (not worth reading)

Sooo today I had my first official gym workout it lasted about 2 hours at the firestation, my knee started hurting before we started, I kind of decided either I do so much more with my right side with out realizing it or I'm left handed at least in muscle strength cuz my right side always wore at first on every exercise. I did less cardiac than I think is important, but for my size to much cardiac is probably dangerous, but I really do believe in a healthy heart.
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GUTTED
so I feel gutted like a fish right now, I have so much of so many emotions, at so few and many people for so few and many things I can't even sort everything out.
Ahh but I'm so pissed, and I'm trying to keep this clean otherwise this would be loaded with other words. I'll keep quiet I always keep quiet, accept when asked I heal quickly I guess, I swore i was so pissed I was just gonna type out everything, but its back to hopeless and not anger, and maybe even hopeful, of course this post saying anything or not will probably kill any last relationship i'll ever have cuz she'll ask me what and if I remember I'll tell her everything that I"m mad about, and that will be the end of it forever.
I'm not sure i can deal with that but i guess I don't have many options.
I haven't died yet and I don't think I'm capable of suicide so I assume I'll keep going, but its just so frustrating I guess I'll say somthing in this post but its frustrating because she is everything that I hate and everything that I love she is behind all of my success and pretty much all of my failures, she is why I strive to achieve and in my thoughts on just about every deciscion, and so when I tell her she is everything to me I don't think she realizes its not just some cheezy line, its loaded with all of my good and all of my bad mostly stuffs in the middles that make me who I am, there are few people who really know me both pre and post Diedre very well. Oh well whats the point of griping longer I guess I should lay in bed and pretend to sleep so that way I'm at least rested if not actually getting sleep for tomorrow when I have to deal with people.
Well bye all who actually read this I'm so sorry I'm so emo, I'm sorry I have no useful talents I'm sorry I'm so pathetic, and I'm sorry I'm wasting your time
Have a wonderful night I even wished her a good night as much as that hurt, so everyone else I wish a wonderful night with a grandeur dreams.
Your not so faithful writer,
me