Yom Kipur

so last week was Yom Kipur Friday night to Saturday, I went to services and there was this cool sermon. The leader of the Conservative service was a psychology professor. Alrighty so I guess here goes the post.

So he goes into this long sermon which while most people may hate and get bored of sermons, I have always been intrigued by every one I have ever heard of Judaism. It took me awhile to actually realize that the part enjoyed so much was the sermon, because I had always heard that sermons were boring, but to me they seem like advice to analyze, pieces of religion that you get to know, not the everyday same, not the constant preaching that God is great and should be your one pillar of life, but a real honest thought out modern interpretation of somthing that seemed important to me.

Ok so now that I've convinced you I'm a nut let me try and continue my post

so he got to this point which they make every yom kipur how we should try to be better than the previous year, but he had this extra emphasis on doing better than the previous year and that we were at the beginning of the year with the chance now to make a deciscion how well we were gonna do.
He used a few examples, but I like the diet one and I remember that one so thats the example your gonna get through out my interpretation of his sermon.
So he went on that now would be the time to renew efforts for a diet or whatever else, but then went on to say. . .
that there are two ways with which we can approach our problems, we can either take each challenge as it comes: in the case of the diet this is just resisting every non diet food you see, and making a concious deciscion ever time you see cake not to eat it. He claimed that this would lead to failure and sooner or later you were gonna eat that cake. . . I agree I think you should eat that cake cuz thats a really good cake, you should have tried it . . . I mean umm . . . nvm, back to my point
. . . or that we could change our style of life to fit our new goals: in the case of the diet this would be changing your style of eating. He said for every one food you stop eating you should add in two new and interesting foods you weren't eating, and having pretty much become a vegetarian accidentally by this method, I can assure you it's easy as pie. and mmm. . .that pie is twice as tasty as the cake and is definatly worth the trade, especially since its like get pie and noodle kugel.

By the way Diedre made me Noodle Kugel!!!!!!!!! God I love her. Audonai, onnee ohev Diedre. mwahhhhhhhhh.
I miss her, and its only been a week.
It's so weird when she left. . .
I kind of wanted to dance, and was dancing to a jig I didn't know
and it wasn't because she left
but because I was happier
than I had been in awhile
It was so nice and
I wish she was
still here!!
I really
do
God
I miss
her sooo much
I wish she was here
ohh and Amanda visited
it was nice, but. . . she was drunk
ohh and then I emailed the messianic group because it would be nice to start studying torah again, and I went with Suzy and John and Marial to a game night thing and played Magic and DDR. It was nice and weird because it was at her church and its like I"m in interfaith I stand for everything about it and wish it didn't bother me that I was in another religions kindness, but it does and I'm still . . . relgionist??
Anyways I like they're pastor he's nice and his brother plays the trombone and is in south Africa studying crazy Greek bible translation and is a master of Greek, Hebrew, and Aramaic.

Either way time for a quote of the post and give ya'll a break from reading this.

Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends.
           -- Czech Proverb
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.
           -- Freya Madeline Stark
If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.
           -- Samuel Goldwyn
'Who are you and how did you get in here?' 'I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.'
           -- Leslie Nielsen,  as Lieutenant Frank Drebin, "Police Squad"

and last but not least
Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there.
           -- Scott Adams

remember

I apologize for my randomness, but I think I've given up on sensible thought
I don't know if anyone has noticed, but my titles are actually coded by importance.
Lifetime landmarks are in all caps, "important" posts that are actually not so important get a capital letter and pure lower case means its just a normal post.

soo. . . I don't know why I care, but I want to be remembered. It's kind of one of those foolish things of man that's capable of destroying empires, and wasting lives. But I think as scary as death is ceasing to exist is a million times worse.

I really don't know why I want to be remembered and I don't know if any one reading this cares, although I'm guessing the only one reading this is either Diedre or myself. It's really frustrating too, because I times I feel like I do so much, yet it counts for nothing. At least in being remembered, but even outside of that context it still feels like its not doing anything. But no one in Spanish is gonna remember me even though I'm taking more credits (18)than any one else in that class. No one's going to remember me even though I have the class with the smallest number of people (1 my lesson) in a class.
Ok I get it those aren't really things that any one deserves to be remembered for: but what I my seeming doubling the hours needed, and my attendance to meetings thats perfect. My 20 billion seeming organizations that I help and take leadership positions no one wants not for my self esteem, but to help with jobs no one wants.
No, that certainly won't make a difference at least in Spanish someone will be like dude I'm in a class with some crazy nerdy kid they may even call me Jewish if they catch on. but in APO with all the fucking stuff I do, no I won't be remembered I wont be thought of, the moment I'm graduated when they're talking about all those alum and how this one was cool and this one did this and how they miss whoever, I won't be mentioned or thought about. Now maybe some Kirby (My apo family) will be like hey Scott left, but will they mention me, to anyone will they really be like ohh I wish he'ld come back, will there even be a note of damn he did a lot. NO, there won't be, because for some reason I'm just not worth remembering I'm not worth being cared about and it frustrates me.

I know I should give up and I know I shouldn't care.
Ok so thats my story, my pathetic life, that you shouldn't pay attention to because its not worth anything.
ps I met another Amanda which is funny cuz now i have an Amanda: a year younger, my age, and . . . ohh thats 2 years older. ehhh close to having a nice little pyramid/arc effect thing going.

I get to see Diedre this weekend and I'm supposed to go to CPPC this weekend at 12 on Sunday
and since I'm head of my stupid committee (the weakest committee (communications)) I'm supposed to explain about it, but my position not only does no one want but other than being head of the committee is inferior in like every aspect so its like god damn it why does the one extra thing I have to do be the one that gets in the way. So I guess I'll try and get out of it and hand over the speach to the next person in line, although I will admit I do find it funny that I've dodged this mandatory event every semester so far.

QUOTES:

Music is essentially useless, as life is.
           -- George Santayana, Life of Reason (1905) vol. 4, ch. 4

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.
           -- Sir Francis Bacon

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
           -- Albert Einstein

EAGLE (BRANDON)

Today is Wednesday, Saturday was Brandon's eagle project. He built a trellis for the Knights of Columbus. Joe the Knight of Columbus overseer used to be a production manager of the first F-14s it was pretty cool, but he was pretty harsh. I learned people are awful at being vollunteers, which is sad because its not that hard since your a vollunteer your not supposed to be good at what your doing, but still people suck at vollunteering. I was out of the shower and helping out by 8:15 by 9:00 we had gotten all the supplies and I was at the project a few kids were there. More came they all munched down on the donuts pretty quickly. Everyone left by 2ish, there was a relatively slow deteriation of vollunteers until then. Which it was then dad, Joe, Brandon, and me. My gatorade disappeared and I kind of stopped drinking for awhile until I gave up and I got a water. At which point after taking a few sips I decided to take a break and sit under a tree. I meant to sit down for like 2 minutes and just dropped my head closed my eyes and felt no need to move a muscle or anything for about half an hour. Which didn't help anything because I still wasn't drinking water, but it felt really good to just not move. When I got up I realized I still wasn't feeling to much better and had burnt up half an hour so I went home at 4:00 and said sorry, but I don't think I'm much use any more.

Then the rest of the time I was home I did homework and nothing else I came back Monday Labor Day. and took some of the day off, and rested even though I still had some projects to do. Which I still haven't done.