BAR MITZVAH requested

Davids bar mitzvah is over now, I'm tired and exhausted.

He did well, life was hectic Diedre freaked out, cuz my family stole all of her time and she didnt get enough with her family or me and her fish got sick.
I think I prayed more for that fish during that time than most people.
my quotes of the day all stopped coming and I can't figure out how to make them give me a quote of the day anymore


Diedre as of late has confused me more than anything, but luckily she chose a time when i was relaxing so everything else didn't have to die, just lost a little practice time.
With all the stuff she says I've decided I must be the worst guy on earth, a noble hero, be wasteful and efficient, caring and apathetic.

Chess club is in the process of changing directions and no longer being a place for everyone who feels like it top play chess, and I'm handing the presidency back to Susy who wants to be president I think I'm gonna be treasurer.

This week is mafia, and me and matt are supposed to be all super awesome

umm I can't wait to see Diedre again, and I hope my whole registration crap gets worked out in time for me to, register for classes or I might be taking the next semester off and just work, cuz my mom was harassing me about that anyways.

Quote of the post "I love you"

incoming barmitzvah

For those of you that don't know Davids bar mitzvah is in two days.
For some of yall this may not mean much
hell to david it probably doesn't mean much, but to the rest of the family oh god I cant begin to explain...or I guess thats a lie thats what this post is, my attempt to explain, from just my perspective.
As a heads up since the last post I've dropped organic chemistry, sucked up bio, and have been seriously overwhelmed and right as a should have gotten more time got really sick and now I'm recovered.

So the aliyah i was doing i didn't have the right melody for, I've been fixing up the house, and getting yelled at for really nothing at all, its like when I was at cinemark and got yelled at for getting the order right only this is my mom screaming when shes under rediculous amount of stress.

Me and Diedre were having one of our stupid little "arguments"/"fights", and diedre and Brandon made some comment and shes like yeah we fight all the time but its always like husband wife fighting, and me and my brother look at each other and are like what, and I had to explain to Diedre that thats not what we consider mom dad fighting. The freaking out sounding like a wall may get knocked down fight between my mom and Brandon she had just heard thats what we consider mom and dad fighting.
Which is probably the first time I wondered how different my perception of what a family is and should be is from normal peoples perception.

Anyhow I have been all over the place one minute i can deal with all types of verbal abuse and keep my cool the next minute, a small comment about me makes me want to tear my heart out, the next comment I explode and end up in tears, and the next I'm fine, I really think something may not be right with me right now, but also pretty sure I don't care.
Everything I do seems to be wrong and not enough for everyone.
Its kind of sickening
and what makes it worst as i'm giving everything i have and feel like crap for lessening up on what evers not getting attention half the time what i'm doing is either useless criticized or pointless anyways.

and then I'm being all stupid and am letting way to many things that shouldn't bother me really get under my skin.

and i miss so many people and wish i could use spring "break" as a break where i get to spend time with friends and not just a change of scenery.

OK so now when this ends I go back to screwing up my gpa and life alrighty i guess this pessimistic post get to end

QUOTE:
"Every night its painful,
all the days hurt
every moment . . . "