i don't know

So I'm here updating this blog, and I don't know what I'm saying, and worse yet I don't know who I'm talking to. I should be happy? I'm about to leave for Austin, I am starting my search for schools back up, the scheduling is going perfectly. Even Dr. Allen is offering me a hand (by the way is his kid is incredibly cute).
but I'm crying again
My mom just said it's funny because its exactly 2 months since he died. She's talking to David's speech teacher that's dropping off his last speech. I was doing ok at first, and then I really just wanted to talk to someone and this is the part that hurts me, I know i have a ton of friends i could. Charlottes gonna whine at me for not just calling her, Chris has been there non stop for me over the last god knows when. Robert, Kevin, Keri, Ginny, Ari, Diedre the list keeps going, but no I'm here writing in this blog because in my head for some reason I won't talk to any of them right now. and now i've gotta go cuz i have to listen to that speech with mom
"Live well" me

Hannukah

This is my first Hannukkah with out David here in person, in 16 years. Also the most I've probably cried, on a Channukah, or rather the only time i've cried on hanukah (I'm running out of ways to spell that). I got my emails out to NAU finally, ok to the positive stuff.

I've gotten my first positive emails in the last year this last Friday. The first was from Armand Bayou, it told me that when i wanted to get certified to do trails, was a stewardship event to remove talo trees, and that at the later part of that was a prescribed burn training. I had to put off my official trail guide for that training and got to do some talo tree removal and acorn (white oaks) planting. That was 2 days ago (Saturday), it was fun and Kevin and Robert were both in town, for pretty much no reason, and hung out with me. I feel like i missed something but supposebly its random and not uncommon (news to me).
Anyhow the second email was less exciting but to make up for my loss of hours they are giving me floor training this coming saturday which i thought i needed a teaching certificate to qualify for. But apparently i'm good enough a tutor to tutor everyone in everything, so I'm getting expanded again, which means more hours.

Nerd report: I made my first designed magic the gathering deck, and wasted 15 dollars on it money I don't really have if i skip 2 meals i should be able to make it up, no but seriously after my car picked up now 4 issues in the last week, I"m not sure i can keep up with my loan and I just caught back up.

You can pray for someone even if you don't think God exists.
-- Real Live Preacher, RealLivePreacher.com Weblog, July 7, 2003

When a miracle happens, even if not to you, its nature is to naturally expand. You can almost feel the warmth on your face.
-- Hugh Elliott, Standing Room Only weblog, 06-02-04

ok before i cry and anything else let me find a quote
Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it. Plan more than you can do, then do it.
-- Anonymous