Future

ok so there's been a whole lot of stuff since my last post, a whole lot in work, from laughs with a girl singing my girl to a kid chasing down another kid in the pool and punching him in the face, and that was just one day. but this is called future because I've had a lot of thoughts about what I want and don't want in my future.
OK a note about me I have this problem with all the deciscions we make now a days on things that don't really have a reason. Mostly cuz stuff like that is how all these problems like gay stuff gets so out of hand cuz everyone is just like oh its bad no reason, so personally I don't really make decisions unless there's a reason too, so at times that makes me kind of slow.

ok so now back to the point and away from ranting.


So for one I realized for once I reallly do want a place of my own, I mean I never really realized I don't really have a place I can go I used to just hide but 2 hiding spots used a thousand times just doesn't work.

for those who want the story I was on stand apparently staring at the deep end as Courtney put it, while some girl in the shallow end started panicking she jumped in, and got her, I got a talk that here were serious about our jobs, and got told all the things I did wrong, and got to talk with bosses boss, and I had to go home an hour early. while the guard who made the save stayed, and I couldn't go home and tell my mom. I couldn't tell Diedre either and those were really the only places I am anymore. So I started driving not sure where but in general home direction. Then I really understood how teenagers love that whole driving and fast thing god I hated speed limits, and really wished gas was free cuz I just wanted to waste gas and drive around. so I drove down 518 and knew I didn't want to go home so made a left instead of a right. Then realized I should get some YMCA paper work done. So instead of turning around tried to take Bay Area blvd which is frickin long. So got to the Y and found out that the gas thats normally cheaper over here was the same price got the Y stuff done got home exactly the time I should have. Everyone thought something was wrong and I lied and just said I was tired I didn't nkow how to explain that. It just kept going through my head that i wasn't saving lives I was killing them.

Now that I've said that I really can't think of my other thoughts of the future, but they were there. huh

well quote of the post:
letter to myself we had to write for calc last year or I guess 2 years ish now
"do you still rock (from side to side)"
and if you've known me for a long time you konw exactly what I'm talking about its so awesome.
mwah love all of you